to new beginnings

It is the last hour of my summer vacation, and this summer is one that will be remembered forever.

I’ve decided to start blogging more often. My mom has convinced me that I need to start developing my talents more in order to find direction for my future, and, to be honest, it is a great way to procrastinate my summer reading homework even more than I already have.

It is hard to come to terms with change. I’ve never in my life liked it, but there has been times when I’ve needed it. And to realize that something needs to change for yourself is one of the most defining and rewarding feelings. But its also very defining when change enters your life and makes its own alterations that don’t necessarily compliment your figure. Meaning that change just comes in and does whatever the hell it feels like, and it leaves you with a mess to clean up on your own. But how you handle that mess, or obstacle, is what defines you. Perspective and perception. “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.”-C.W. Lewis. This summer has brought immense amounts of change, the kind of change that will both challenge and build me, adding instruments to the bittersweet symphony we call life. 

I have found friends that I never thought I would ever encounter. They are the most incredible people on Earth. With them, I and everyone else is accepted, and loved. With them, I feel home completely. They have made a family, outside of my own, where I feel loved unconditionally and accepted no matter what. They make me feel safe and secure and like I belong. I trust them infinitely. Like a family they have welcomed new members like myself with nothing but fun-loving open arms. They have created a network tight-knit relationships, creating a perfectly functionally-dysfunctional family. But the most challenging part of having such amazing people in my life, is coming to terms with the reality of saying goodbye; facing the fact that they are off on their own separate ways, they are going out into the world. I will miss them like no other, there will always be a place in my heart for each and every one of them, and I know that they will all be very successful.

I cannot let myself dwell in the sadness of the absence of my friends around school. It’s pointless. I still have some of my best friends around me every day, ones I’ve shared intimate, deep, and eye-opening adventures and memories with. This is senior year. We are the seniors. I am a senior. It is our time. We have to make the most out of everything.Our time in highschool is running out. There is no holding back because there is no one older than us to be intimidating and we hold the most power to influence and inspire those who are younger than us. We, as individuals, need to make our mark as a class. Fuck whatever anyone else thinks of me, I want to be happy, I want to enjoy myself and make the year enjoyable for everyone else. I want to be inspiring and brighten everyone else’s day. It is incredible what the most simple gesture can do for someone, how it can turn everything around for them. 

So here’s to a New Beginning. “Cheers to a new, and significant chapter we get to share together! Currently it’s empty, but each day we get a new page to write in! Let’s make it fantastic, a story filled with love and inspiration and all other hippie-sounding goodness we could think of. After all, the American ideal is being in control our own destiny, so Carpe Diem!” -Colton Kugler 

The Diem with be Carpe(ed).